Am so disappointed. I went to the doctor yesterday, and had my blood drawn before they did any major stuff(yay, no pelvic exam!), and ran tests for the progesterone levels and the hCG levels in my blood. I haven't heard the progesterone levels yet, but the hCG came back as not pregnant.
This is three separate occasions I have had positive home tests and negative results when I go in to the doc's office. What's wrong with me? I already had one baby, so I know I can have babies, but this hormone rollercoaster is really starting to depress me. Am I a factory reject? Why can't I have another baby?
We've been trying since August, only to be let down three times when we thought we were having a baby. I don't know how many more times I can take that kind of disappointment before I just crack. My heart just hurts, and I wish I could just stay in bed and cry all day long. But I have to get up, I have to be happy for the kids I watch, and for their parents.
Before I went in, Mom said to me, "Sweetie, I don't want you to get too upset if you have your period." What the hell is that supposed to mean? You had five kids with no problems conceiving when you wanted to. I've been trying for months. I'm supposed to be young and fertile. Why is it taking so long? I've never been very patient, so besides being very sad for me, it's also very irritating. I just want to be pregnant already!
So to not gripe for a minute and say something funny, my mom called me yesterday and she says, "Yo, homeboy...Where you been?" It really cracked me up. My mom is nuts, but I love her.
Remember a couple weeks ago when I had the Barbie bug? Well, I bought myself a new doll then: Happy Family Midge. The one I had looked at when I was at KB Toys had a detachable pregnant belly (very cool), but the one I bought at WalMart didn't have it! I was so disappointed! But by the time I had gone through the entire box looking for the belly, I couldn't have returned it. So I'll keep it, but I'm going to get the whole Happy Family collection (mom, dad, doctor, nursery) at KB when they're having their sale, and that way I get a free Happy Family album, and a free Grand Entrance collector's Barbie! Woo!
Also, when I was at KB, I saw some new Barbies.... The new My Scene Barbies are so hip. I had bought one of their outfits for the Lola doll I made, but now I'm thinking I ought to go back and get a different doll for the Lola doll so I can make a Cathie doll that's similar in style. Nolee would make a perfect Lola, once I bob the hair, and I think Chelsea would be perfect for Cathie (I was thinking of you when I saw her, Cathie--she has luscious lips, lol). :)
We had our new Fred Meyer store open up here! Yay! Jay and Wyatt and I went to the grand opening yesterday to see what there was to see. We went to the toy section and found Wyatt this great new stuffed animal. We like to give the stuffed animals really distinguished names (for example, Wyatt's walrus is Monroe, and his bear is Hughbert), so we're trying to think of a name for this new one. Jay dubs him "Francois" and declares that he is French.
We're walking a little more, and I'm thinking about it, and out of the blue, I say, "Jay, Francois is a frog. We can't tell Wyatt that his frog is French!" Jay laughs, and says the thought hadn't even occurred to him! (For those of you who are going "Huh?" frog is a derogitory term for the French.) But the frog is still Francois. LMAO....
Anyway, I ought to go get some things done, like eat my breakfast, so ciao.
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Today's Episode: Dad learns he is not Superman
sometimes you just can't think of anything witty to say
cliques
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