(A note to the reader: This character biography contains mature themes, and is not intended to offend anyone. If you dislike violence, please do not read it. Thank you.)
Rays of morning sunshine through the windows and across a neatly made bed in a comfortable apartment in the Blue Ajah quarters. The apartment�s occupant had risen in the gray light before dawn, as she did every morning, and sat in a dressing gown at her writing desk, penning neat notes in a leather bound book.
The furniture in the rooms was fairly plain but well made, with a little floral carving and no gilt, suitable for a moderately well-to-do merchant�s home. A few simple paintings of landscapes---and a wonderful watercolor of the White Bridge in Andor---adorned the walls, and thick Taraboner carpets in blue floral patterns covered the bare floor.
A knock sounded at the door, and the occupant--a curvaceous but diminutive young woman with clear green eyes and raven hair that hung in loose curls to her waist--stood, her leather book disappearing into a pocket. Crossing the short distance to the door, she could smell bacon, tea, and fresh biscuits, and she opened the door with a smile. Her maid, Anye, was not tall, but she was taller than her mistress, who stood just five feet tall. Anye bustled in with a silver tray draped with linen and set it on a low table in the sitting area.
�Come on, Miss Tillie, you haven�t got all day,� Anye said. �I know there�s meetings on your agenda.� She lifted the cloth and in addition to the biscuits and bacon, Tillie saw a small crock of butter, plum preserves, and a small gooseberry tart.
�Anye, you shouldn�t have,� said Tillie, gesturing toward the tart with a twinkle in her eye. Her maid smiled.
�You�re far too skinny,� the plump woman replied. �You need a little more meat on those bones.�
Tillie sighed and sat on the sofa, buttering a biscuit. Few women would speak to Aes Sedai so, and definitely not maids, but Anye was different. Though Anye had outright admitted being chosen for Tillie by the head of the Blue Ajah, she was completely loyal, and made no pretenses. Tillie was grateful for it, and so she let the woman speak her mind when they were alone together. She was also a tremendous resource when it came to the goings-on in the Tower. Maids gossiped, but everything out of Anye�s mouth was only what Tillie wanted others to know.
**********
Tillie walked back to her room in Accepted�s quarters, her new blue-fringed shawl folded neatly inside the box she carried. She walked slowly. She was completely worn out from the Raising test. She pushed thoughts of test out of her mind and unconsciously thumbed the Great Serpent ring that now adorned her right forefinger. She was Aes Sedai!
Upon entering the room, she found a neat little bunch of daisies tied with a blue ribbon. Congratulations, Telaisien Sedai! the note read. Tillie smiled. It was from her roommate, Liysa. She was sorry to have to leave her. She was a wonderful girl, and would make a wonderful Aes Sedai one day, for all her strange Tinker ideas. Though Tillie was exhausted, she gathered her few things and packed them into the trunk at the end of her bed. A serving man would be here to fetch it any minute.
There was a knock at the door, and a curvy, dark-haired woman with an ageless face peeped around it. �Telaisien?�
Tillie looked up. Not many called her Telaisien. She suspected this was one of the Blue sisters. �Come,� was her tired reply.
The plump woman stepped in, followed by a plump, red-haired woman who curtsied. �I�m Eriannah, I�m here to make your move a little smoother.� Gesturing to the other woman, Eriannah said, �This is Anye Hyam, She�ll be your maid while you settle in.� There was something left unsaid after that, but Tillie would ask later. �We�ve brought a man to carry your things.�
Tillie nodded and stood. �This trunk. That�s all.� She�d leave a note for Liysa to thank her for the flowers before she left. I can�t say I�ll miss being Accepted, but I shall miss Liysa and all the fun I�ve had while I roomed with her. Tillie smiled a little sadly, and turned to Eriannah.
�Lead the way.�
The apartment was roomy, with two bedchambers, a sizeable sitting room, and large windows facing east, but it was quite empty.
�The sister who most recently occupied these rooms retired, Telaisien, and she took all her furniture with her. You�ve been given an allowance to purchase your own,� Eriannah explained as Anye waved the serving man in and showed him where to leave Tillie�s trunk. �You�re quite lucky to get this view,� Eriannah remarked, looking out across the land at Dragonmount. �The sunrise is spectacular from here.� She turned back to Tillie. �My rooms are two doors down,� she said. �If you need a little help settling in, let me know. I�ll be back in a little while and we�ll go into the city, if you�d like.�
Tillie nodded and thanked Eriannah. As the dark-haired sister left, Aleis Sedai came in, another man with a trunk behind her. �Here are the rest of your things, my dear,� Aleis said as the man placed the trunk next to the other. �And this is also for you.� She handed Tillie a letter. �I think the Blues are holding a reception for you tonight, so you should get some rest. I�m afraid there won�t be much tonight.� She smiled and left.
�Not that I�ll get any rest without a bed,� Tillie said quietly to herself. She opened the first trunk and pulled out a small pillow she had embroidered. She tossed it on the floor and sat on it, opening the second trunk as she sat. Smiling, she saw all her old dresses had been wrapped in muslin to preserve them while she trained. She had made them all, and was quite grateful that all the hours she had spent on them had not gone to waste. She chose her favorite--a well-cut dress of fine blue wool, embroidered at the neck and cuffs with snowdrops.
Tillie stood and shucked off her banded dress for the last time with a sigh. She wouldn�t miss wearing white all the time either. She stepped into the dress and buttoned it behind her. It was a little big, where it had been snug before. Not for the first time, Tillie pushed back the fresh memories of the incident in the garden. She had been nearly unable to eat since then, and had lost a fair amount of weight. The dress would do for today, and she would have others made.
Another knock, and Eriannah peeped into the room again. �Ready?�
Tillie nodded and followed her out the door.
**********
Tillie let Anye pick out a dress for her and brush her hair, but she twisted and coiled the midnight curls herself. She slipped into a pale gray dress adorned with seed pearls and sapphires and let Anye do up the row of tiny pearl buttons up the back. Tillie had come a long way from the runaway tailor�s daughter from Whitebridge, and the twelve years she had spent training weren�t the biggest reason, though they had had a large role in the change. For the first time in nearly a year, Tillie allowed herself to remember.
**********
Telaisien sat on a stone bench in the gardens, inhaling the fragrance of the roses she loved to help tend, and staring at the sky. The night was clear, the moon was full, and the stars were brilliant. It was a perfect night to watch their movement, and she had asked permission to sit up watching them tonight. A sketchpad and a notebook lay at her side with her inkwell and pen, but she paid them little attention. Her eyes were on the sky.
"Are you waiting for someone, perhaps?" a male voice spoke up behind her. Tillie jumped slightly, and turned to face the man. A little tall, for her taste, but still very good looking, with a smattering of freckles nearly identical to her own across his nose.
"No," she replied. "Just studying." She reached for her notebook and pen and scooted to one side of the bench, gesturing for the man to sit down. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name...I'm Telaisien." She offered a hand to shake.
"Julian," he said, taking her hand. Tillie was a little surprised when he kissed it rather than shaking it. She cursed the moon for being bright enough to show her blushes.
"Well, Master Julian, what brings you to the gardens so late? I dare say it's not to study." Tillie was grateful he could not see her feet curled under her. There was something about the fellow that made her vaguely uncomfortable, but she couldn't put a mark on it. He seemed...almost too friendly. Giving herself a mental shake, she decided to ignore it and be friendly.
�As it happens,� Julian said, �I�m just out enjoying the clear night.� He sat next to Tillie on the bench and reclined on his elbows. �The view is really much better if you lie back.�
Tillie started to imitate his pose, then realized just how far her bosom pushed out. Self-consciously, she sat back up. �No, thank you, I can see well enough from here.� A slight blush stained her cheeks, and she opened her inkpot to jot a few notes in her book.
Julian sat up behind her, and Tillie could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck. �Are you sure?� he asked. He wrapped one arm around her, and placed his other hand on her knee. �It�s really a beautiful night. Almost as beautiful as you�� He trailed off and placed a light kiss on her temple.
Tillie brushed Julian�s hand from her knee. She was trembling, her thoughts racing. Should she channel? That was strictly forbidden without supervision and permission, but she was sure Julian�s behavior was forbidden as well. Perhaps they would make an exception in her case. Tillie didn�t think so. At any rate, she was too panicked to even embrace the Source. She continued to shake, and managed to stammer, �M-master Julian, I d-don�t think this is very�um, very appropriate��
Tillie had chosen this area of the garden for its seclusion�she wasn�t likely to be disturbed this far from the Tower proper. What she didn�t take into account, however, was that no one would hear her if she happened to scream.
Julian chuckled softly as he felt her trembling. He paid no mind to her breathless protestations.
"Now now, sweetling," he said in soft, gentle tones. "Let's not be coy." His hand returned to her knee, then moved higher, stroking her thigh through the material of her dress. His other arm was around her waist, and now as she tried to subtly wriggle free, he wrapped it tight, pinioning her in his embrace.
"You know what I want," he whispered in her ear, flicking her earlobe with his tongue. "I think you want it too...but if you don't, I mean to have it regardless. If you keep refusing me you might make me angry, and I would so hate to cause you...discomfort." She was still trying to force his hand off her leg, and now he seized her own right hand with it, squeezing with iron strength, causing her to gasp in pain.
"I'll...I'll scream...someone will...you'll..." she struggled to speak, but she was obviously scared now, and her words simply tripped and fell short as they left her lips.
"Hush," he said, and pressed her mouth to his.
Tillie struggled uselessly against Julian's hold, cursing, for the first time in her life, her lack of stature. His kiss was rough and forced, and she could feel that his upper lip was very smooth, as though he had shaved just for this occasion. It made her sick to think about it.
He forced her lips and teeth apart with her tongue, giving her the feeling that he was quite practiced at this sort of thing. She bit down hard, and he pulled away, cursing. His brilliant blue eyes turned to flint. Tillie flinched and pulled away, directly into his swinging fist. The punch connected with her cheekbone, and she suddenly understood what it meant to see stars, but not the ones she had been out to see this night.
Whimpering, she could feel the hot tears running down her cheek as her eye swelled. She was sure it would swell shut. Julian had one arm around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and the other pulling the pins from her hair. He wasn't very gentle. When her hair was free, he buried his face in it. She could smell the soap she used that morning, scented with roses and violets. She doubted she would use it again.
Julian stood, lifting her from the bench. He took a few steps before laying her on the ground. He held her wrist above her head with one hand, drew his knife with the other, then sat on the ground beside her, one leg across both her own. She couldn't have moved if she had tried, but she was too terrified to do anything. Tillie didn't think he would kill her when it was all over. That would be merciful, and mercy didn't seem to be his style.
She struggled, but not much, and it didn't matter anyway. His grip on her wrists was as strong as a steel manacle. His other hand brought the gleaming dagger from his belt up, right before her eyes. He slipped the knife lower, and yanked it upward, slitting the front of her dress with one smooth movement. The razored edge cut through linen and silk shift beneath...and at one point, the soft skin below that. Flipping the knife around in his hand, he plunged it into the dirt next to her, then put his free hand to use, caressing her bared breasts roughly.
Soon, though, his hand traveled lower...hiking up her skirts, fumbling with his own breeches. She still struggled, but tentatively, fearfully...worried about what he would do if she resisted too much. She didn't even seem to notice the cut he'd given her, though it was still seeping blood.
And then suddenly Julian was yanked away from her. Tillie dared to open her eyes, and saw Micah Valindred snarling, slamming his fist--weighted with his coin purse, she thought-- into the red-haired man�s face.
Julian was hurled onto his back, blood pouring from his shattered nose. Micah smiled as he moved forward, stepping carefully over Telaisien's quivering body, moving toward the other man with every intention of beating him within an inch of his life.
The redhead's speed was inhuman. He was on his feet before Micah reached him, his own features contorted in a rage that matched Micah's. And in his hand gleamed a knife, a long thin stiletto. An assassin's weapon.
Micah froze in mid-stride, shifting his balance slightly, keeping his fists raised before him. He didn't seem prepared for this...he had no weapon she could see, not even his belt knife. And from the way this other man moved, he was expert with that blade. He meant to kill, and was quite capable of it.
But Micah didn't retreat.
Julian struck then, the slender knife in his hand like an extension of his body. His attack had the sudden swiftness of a striking viper, a living lightning bolt.
Micah could not match his blurring speed, but he managed to dodge Julian�s first blow, and even the second. The third ripped a gash in his loose sleeve, and the fourth left a bloody furrow under one eye. Julian grinned. He pressed the attack, and this one struck home, burying itself deep in one slim bicep�but then they were in close, grappling range.
Micah�s skill at infighting was vicious and efficient. He responded with two swift handstrikes and a kick to the midriff. Julian dodged his blows, and countered the kick so quickly that Micah was sent sprawling. That narrow blade darted for his eye, and he barely parried in time, blocking with a wrist and snapping another feint toward Julian's groin. The redhead danced away, knife held defensively.
Julian attacked again, blade shining and the rest of his body nearly as dangerous. Micah defended, blocking a half dozen blows, any one of which could have killed him. He whipped his fist up, at the last moment letting the pouch of coins weighting it slip free. It flew out to the end of the drawstring, lengthening Micah's reach by a good five inches...and letting the heavy purse smash into Julian's already injured nose.
The pain must have been blinding. Micah counted on that as he moved, left hand coming up to knock aside a warding arm, right hand dropping the coin purse as it arrowed upward, hand stiff. His fingers rammed with brutal force into Julian's adam's apple. Julian staggered away, striving to draw breath through a crushed windpipe. He was already darkening, and as his feet gave way Tillie knew he was well on his way to the other side.
She started to her feet, then saw a flash of silver. Julian�s knife was buried almost to the hilt in Micah�s chest. Micah tried to laugh, but his legs buckled, and he went to one knee, trying to stay upright with a shaking hand planted in the dirt. He failed.
Tillie had watched the fight from behind the bench in fearful silence. Her eye had swollen shut, and her hands held her ruined dress to her chest, her arms keeping the gash in her right breast closed. She was covered in blood, but at least she was no longer steadily bleeding.
If I had just channeled, just wrapped him in Air, none of this would have happened, she thought, numb with pain. Tears leaked down her cheeks. If only I hadn't been so good.
She hurried to his side and knelt, tearing the hem of her dress and shift into makeshift bandages. "Micah? Micah, don't die. You're going to be alright. Please, Light, let him live," she said in a near whisper, taking his hand. She kissed him lightly on the forehead and took hold of the dagger in his chest. Slipping a stray branch in his mouth, she whispered, "Bite down, love, this will hurt."
With surprising strength she could only credit to adrenaline, she pulled the knife from his chest, careful not to twist it. Micah made a soft cry, and slumped into her as Tillie pressed the torn fabric of her shift onto the wound, sitting him up a little to wind the rainbow band torn from her hem around his chest.
Tillie paid little attention to the blood seeping from her breast, or her swollen eye. Micah's blood seeped through the cloth and onto her fingers, her own blood mingling with his blood and her silent tears as she wept softly. Light, let him live...
She heard footsteps from the path behind her, and turned to see one of the Red Sitters, the last of all Aes Sedai she could possibly want to see at that moment.
�What in the Light is going on here?� Sheela Sedai barked. Her voice was like the strike of hammer on anvil. �Speak, girl,� she said, her voice still stern but moderated. �What happened? Who is he? Is he alive?� Her finger pointed to Micah, and the wound in his chest. She didn�t bother to ask about the other�he was as dead as Artur Hawkwing, that much was plain.
�I�I�Aes Sedai�he�� the girl tried, but she was practically hysterical, and the words stumbled all over each other.
�Stop blathering and focus!� the Red snapped. �If you�re to be Aes Sedai some day, you�d best start learning how to keep calm and focus. Now: what happened?�
Telaisien recited a swift and emotionless chronicle of what had happened, from the time Julian had come to her to the moment Sheela had stepped from the shelter of the trees.
Sheela listened, and all the while watched the shallow breathing of the blond-haired youth. When Tillie finished, Sheela nodded tightly. �Very well. Are you calmer?� Tillie nodded. �Good.� Sheela hesitated only briefly. �This�Micah�needs Healing, or he will be dead by the time we reach the Infirmary. Already he is starting to fade.� His breathing had grown steadily more and more ragged, and the cloth on his breast was almost entirely crimson.
Tillie looked down at him frantically and pulled him closer. At once panic started to set in. �Oh, no! No! No, he can�t��
�Girl!� Sheela�s hand gripped her shoulder like a vise. �Your fear helps no one. Your calm may help him.�
�But, I�surely you can Heal him, Sitter, I mean��
Sheela�s head shook. �I haven�t the knack. I cannot Heal so much as a hangnail. If he�s to survive, it must be you that does it.�
Tillie felt herself pale. �But I�I�ve never�I mean�� She breathed deeply, then said in a voice without tremor. �I�ve done it in practice, but never anything like this.�
�It doesn�t matter.� Sheela�s voice was merciless. �Heal him as you can, because it�s all he�ll get. If it is not enough, he dies.�
The Red Sitter's final statement hung in the air for a moment before Tillie realized what it meant. He dies. But she had never done anything this complicated before. Taking a deep breath, she went through one of the faster novice exercises to clear her head before embracing the Source with an almost hesitant look in the Sheela's direction.
Weaving the necessary threads of Air, Water, and Spirit, Tillie gently touched Micah's forehead. Before she could weave them through him, however, he opened his eyes and looked into her own. Though his voice was somewhat strained, the demand in it was clear. "Do it," he rasped.
Tillie made a soft gasp, and looked at Sheela, whose face plainly said, I don't care if you're dying, boy, but no one tells an Aes Sedai, or even one in training, what to do. Still, Tillie took a deep breath and let the woven threads flow through Micah's body, knitting together his torn flesh until all that remained of his wounds was the drying blood. When she released the flow, Micah's tense body went limp, and Tillie knew he was unconscious.
Swaying, Tillie put a hand to her own head. Sheela bent over Micah a moment, apparently Delving Micah. "He'll live," the Sitter said shortly, and Tillie nodded. She watched as flows of Air, thick as a strong man's arms, lifted Julian's corpse from the ground, and Sheela bent and lifted Micah's limp form just as easily. "Come. There's much to do, and you should both be abed."
Tillie rose slowly and followed Sheela to the infirmary. A few minutes passed before either of them said anything, but then Sheela asked her, "How did that come to happen, girl?" Seeing the confusion on Tillie's face, she went on. "You can channel. You're far from weak, I saw that tonight. You could have broken him in half, had you wished. So how did this happen? Why didn't you channel?"
It was a few moments before Tillie could answer. "It's forbidden, Sitter. I didn't want to be punished, or even turned out of the Tower for it." And I was terrified, she admitted to herself.
The Red snorted. "I'll do you the courtesy of speaking bluntly, girl. Rules are fine in their time and place...On your back, with some boy's knife at your throat is neither the time, nor the place. Letting rules bind your hands at a time like that almost cost you your life, or something nearly as precious. Do you take my meaning?"
Tillie, though shocked at the woman's plain speech, understood perfectly. But things were growing darker, and even the small sounds of the night were very far away. Ten feet from the infirmary doors, she realized that the night's adventure, for her at least, was mercifully over.
**********
Tillie lifted a hand to her left breast and lightly felt at the spot where a faint scar marred her creamy flesh. In all the rush, she had forgotten her wound, and Sheela Sedai had not noticed it until she was in the infirmary, where she stayed for several days following the attack.
Due to the extraordinary circumstances, the Mistress of Novices and the Amyrlin Seat had agreed that the incident had had much the same effect as the test for Raising, and had decided to Raise her without further testing a month afterward. This caused conflict with many sisters, but once she had sworn the Three Oaths and donned her blue-fringed shawl, few grumbled about it, at least where she could hear.
It had been almost a year since her raising, and Telaisien had gained back much of the weight she had lost, but not all. Contrary to what others might have thought, the gardens were not a frightful place for her, though she never again went out of her way to spend as much time as possible there.
Taking a last glance at herself in the mirror, Tillie donned her shawl and set out for a busy day.
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